When your child is struggling at school, it can manifest itself in all sorts of different ways and it can be hard to know what’s wrong and how to react. Your child may not want to talk about it. And at first glance, unusual behaviour might appear to have nothing to do with school.
However, there are some common tell-tale signs that indicate your child may be struggling and what’s more, if they are, help is at hand.
1. Naughty behaviour
All children misbehave at some point, and they wouldn’t be children if they didn’t! The natural response is often to tell them off, set a punishment, or perhaps even resort to shouting and despair depending on how naughty they’ve been.
However, naughtiness can be an important sign that something is not right at school. If your child is struggling to understand and keep up with what is being taught, they may zone out and stop trying. Whilst for some children, this means they sit quietly in their own daydream, for others they start to get bored - and boredom can lead to mischief!
Naughty behaviour is often not really naughty behaviour at all. Your child may be worried that they’re going to be teased for being stupid and not able to keep up. If they “play up” it takes the attention away from the fact that they’re struggling and can even reposition them as one of the “cool kids”. Behaviour of this type can range from not doing their homework on time (or at all), being disruptive in class and being naughty at home!
2. Distraction and Avoidance
Again, distraction can manifest itself in many ways. You may notice your child doesn’t want to talk about school and schoolwork. They might change the subject, give short answers to your questions or just appear to have a very short attention span. They may physically look uncomfortable, avoiding eye contact and fidgeting. They might even get up and run around – an unconscious way of trying to avoid the discomfort of talking about something they don’t like.
Alternatively, you may find it almost impossible to persuade your child to do their homework. Perhaps they say they haven’t got any, they’ve forgotten their book, they’ve done it, they’re going to do it … the excuses can be endless but there may be a more significant reason for not wanting to do it.
3. Clingy
When a child becomes clingy or needy, it can stem from the fact that they’re struggling in school and need reassurance in other areas. But clinginess doesn’t necessarily have to be just a reluctance to go to school. You may find your child is more needy at bedtimes, they may experience bedwetting or waking up in the night. They may also be constantly asking questions designed to reassure them.
4. Depression and Anxiety
Today’s children suffer with some of the highest rates of anxiety and mental health on record. Signs of anxiety can include (but aren’t limited to):
Problems with sleeping and eating
Poor concentration and mood swings
Irritability, anger, tearfulness and irrational thoughts and behaviour
Complaining of feeling unwell - from headaches to tummy aches or worse
Anxiety and depression are often closely linked but don’t necessarily go together. Signs that your child is depressed may include all of the above. It can be hard to identify and is more than just feeling sad. If your child becomes withdrawn or the sadness becomes persistent, or starts to interfere with normal social activities, it may have developed into depression. There could be many causes, but schoolwork could be one of them.
5. Aggression
Aggression is often misunderstood and can be a reaction to what’s going on around a child. It can result from something as simple as your child being hungry and over tired and it can also be a result of problems at school. Timing might be key here. Are there any triggers? Is your child particularly aggressive when asked to do his or her homework, when asked about school or just before or after the school day?
What should you do?
The good news is, that whatever your concerns, if you suspect something is wrong, you can start to do something to help. At the heart of all your child’s schoolwork (whatever subject) is their ability in maths, English and reasoning. So, this is the place to start your investigations. How well has your child been doing? Are there any issues with homework?
If speaking to your child hasn’t got you anywhere, the next step is your child’s teacher. Make an appointment to see them and let the teacher know what it’s about well in advance. That gives them a chance to ask other teachers and teaching assistants and look back over your child’s work and behaviour. In today’s large classes, it is unfortunate that problems at school don’t always get spotted and schools just aren’t always able to give the additional support required.
Talk to us
Whether you’ve identified a problem with schoolwork or you’re still not sure, give your local MagiKats centre a call. We’re more than happy to meet with you and your child and explore what, if any, support they need. Our workshops are based around the school curriculum, but we work in a way that is fun and relaxed. No pressure, just all the right type of support.
