The summer term can be a stressful time for teenagers facing exams. In this post, we take a look at how to spot the signs that your child is struggling and how to help them manage exam stress.
Signs of exam stress
The first thing to acknowledge is that exam stress is common and normal. Children can struggle with the pressure of managing all their revision, worrying about letting people down or failing, feeling nervous, comparing themselves to others, and tackling the many other emotions that come with reaching the end of school. Some children will cope well with these emotions and pressures and others less so. If your child is finding their exam preparation difficult, try not to worry too much yourself. There is lots you can do to help, and it does not mean that they’re not going to do well.
Spotting the signs
It is not always easy to spot signs of stress because every child is different, and some children are very good at masking how they feel.
Your child may be experiencing a whole host of emotions from fear, dread and shame, to anger, frustration, exhaustion, sorrow or even despair. In turn, these emotions may manifest in a number of different ways, so it’s always a good idea to keep an eye on your child’s behaviour. They may have angry outbursts, or they may withdraw and spend more and more time in their room. There may be changes in their eating habits, feelings of sickness, or they may be finding it difficult to sleep. Stress can cause shaking, changes in breathing, pain, dizziness, headaches and sweating, and physical symptoms like these can be really frightening to a child.
Look out for any change in behaviour and try and have regular conversations with your child in a way that makes them feel comfortable about telling you how they feel. Sometimes this is easiest if you’re sitting side by side in a car for example or walking side by side so that you’re not looking directly at each other. You know your child best, and how to talk to them, but if you’re finding it hard, try talking about your own experiences and times you’ve felt stressed and pressured. Or encourage them to talk to someone else like a teacher, mentor or friend. And try and remind them that exams are not the end of the world and that even if they don’t do well, they’ll still have plenty of options.
Managing stress
As we mentioned above, if you know or suspect that your child is struggling with exam stress, there is lots you can do to help:
Helping them plan and manage their revision
Have a look at our post on how to revise for some simple ideas to help with this. Remember, when stressed, some children will want to revise all the time, never taking a break and others may do no revision at all. Neither approach is ideal. The key is consistency and to try to encourage your child to do little and often.
Help your child to design a realistic timetable for revision with a place for your child to revise set up and all the equipment they need, help them to create a routine. And remember, taking breaks is as important as the revision itself.
Self-care during revision
Self-care is so important and comes in many different forms. Try and ensure your child eats a healthy, balanced diet with regular meals and plenty of water. And try and ensure they get regular exercise. Once again, what level and type of exercise will depend on your child but getting outside and moving, even if it’s just a walk can really help when dealing with stress.
Self-care also involves being kind to yourself. Encourage your child to allow themselves a bit of “me time” doing things that they really enjoy. This could be hanging out with friends or just spending a whole Saturday afternoon binge-watching the latest TV series.
Some positive self-talk can really help too, for example, by getting your child to remind themselves of three things they’re good at, or three things they have achieved.
Sleep is another important part of self-care especially as the exams get closer. It’s not easy making sure teenagers get enough sleep but minimising screen time and getting into a good routine helps.
On the day
Exam days can be super stressful so a little preparation can go a long way. Get everything they need together the night before and make sure they get up in plenty of time so they’re not rushed. Perhaps teach your child some breathing or mindfulness exercises they can use on the day. Remind them to take their time and make sure they take some time out to relax after the exam, even if they have another exam the next day. Don’t forget the importance of breakfast – give their bodies fuel to cope with the day ahead.
Extra support
There are various resources available if your child needs extra support. Your first port of call should be their school or college. If you explain the issues, they may be able to help or direct you to someone who can, such as a school counsellor. They may also be able to help with revision.
Other resources include:
Your doctor
Follow us on Facebook for more revision tips, and if your child is doing mocks, entrance exams, SATs or other key assessments, why don’t you have a look at our MagiKats workshops to see how they could help. The work we do is tailored to suit each individual child and goes a long way to preparing them for exams, building their confidence and ensuring they fulfil their potential.
Even better though, we run year-round and help kids from pre-school right through to leaving school – not just at exam times. Our long term students find that not only do they feel less stress during exams, they have more confidence across all their subjects at school. There’s more to life than exams!
